What If You’re Not Living Life to the Fullest?
If you’re consuming any type of media this time of year, chances are you’re also being bombarded with content that screams HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
Bright, professional photos of smiling families, huge Christmas trees, tables full of food, festive TV specials — not to mention all those articles and videos around New Year's resolutions and How To Be Your Best Self in 2023.
While it’s always great to bask in gratefulness and focus on goal-setting, what if you just… can’t?
What if, this holiday season, you don’t feel able to live life to the fullest, the way all those cool kids on TikTok are asking you to? What if, perhaps due to stress, illness, grief, or something else that’s heavy, the best you can do is watch TV in your PJs and smile at other people’s full-day hikes up a snowy mountain or gorgeous vacations on Instagram?
If you’re surviving instead of thriving this holiday season — are you broken?
No. But the fact you feel guilty about it makes perfect sense, according to science.
Perceiving Societal Pressure to Be Happy Is Linked to Poor Well-Being
That’s the conclusion of a multi-national study published in Scientific Reports in 2022. What it means is that the more pressure we feel to be happy, the lower our overall well-being may sink. So if we’re not feeling our best at a particular time, such as during the holidays, but social media is seemingly freaking out at us to be full of joy and gratefulness and all that jazz — it can take a real toll on our mental health.
Add that on top of an already “eh” set of emotions, and it’s no wonder so many people struggle during this time of year. Because not only are we just getting by — we feel wrong because we’re just getting by.
If you fall into this category, first of all, my heart goes out to you. Second of all, you need to know you’re not alone, no matter how it may feel right now. And while everyone’s coping mechanisms and skills are different, it’s important to do what you can to keep yourself afloat. A few simple ways to do this, according to the National Alliance for Mental Health, include:
Set boundaries, and stick to them. Only have enough energy to stay at that holiday party for an hour or so? Totally fine. And if your co-worker keeps begging you to stay? Politely decline, and get the hell out
Set up your space for comfort. What do you need to feel your comfiest and coziest? Lots of pillows? A thick blanket? Twinkling Christmas lights? Candles? If you can, spend the money and make it happen. Your nervous system will thank you.
Give yourself grace. Instead of knocking yourself down because you’re not in the holly jolly spirit, talk to yourself about all the ways you’re actually succeeding right now. Are you still taking care of yourself despite feeling sad? Are you eating well? Are you texting friends when they reach out? Whatever it is, feel grateful for what you are doing, rather than judgemental for what you’re not.
And last but not least, if you are really, truly struggling — don’t hesitate to reach out for help. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free and confidential support via phone or text, 24/7.
The holiday season is great. It’s also hard. The more we can acknowledge this duality, the less guilty many of us will hopefully feel.
Stay informed,
Stay flexible,
Stay curious,
~ Jess